* Flesh, Food & Thoughts*

And as the pounds and stones go down on the scale, I feel like I'm going back in time, going down to that skinny teenager I used to be before I started devouring tons of chocolate, as I discovered for the first time what it was to be able to afford whatever you fancy.

It was a priceless feeling. Well, you know what I mean.

I never was fat. I know I'm well shaped and that all I can complain about is a bit of extra fat on my belly, but I won't because I know there is much worse. But all these years of wealth made me hide in food, bury my fears in chocolate and disguise my low self-confidence in muffins that I would cook by the dozen.

And without trying to, I'm getting back to that weight I didn't see on a scale since I was 15, and I can hardly believe it. Working like a dog has more benefits than earning money. I stopped eating sweets all day long, I stopped baking cakes to trick my mind into oblivion. I actually kinda stopped eating at all. But not on purpose, no. Only because I didn't have the time or the energy to. Or the money to buy something I would actually eat.

I look at myself in the mirror and I don't look away anymore. There a few days when I feel ugly and fat, but God knows this is nothing, nothing, compared to how I used to be. 

My body is melting only to reveal the real me, this young adult gaining self-confidence bit by bit, smile by smile. My body is melting to finally meet the new me, this girl who doesn't looks down the pavement when she walks in street anymore.

Now, this also means something. That as soon as I will become a normal student again, I will be sitting down most of my days, I'll be translating shit and staying up late at my desk working, which means there will be food there to keep me going. Nonsense. The more physical activity I make, the less I feel like eating, and vice versa. Damn me.

9 fucking stone only. I wanna shout it and stay like this forever.

 After all, Dublin rimes with housekeepin', doesn't it?
I'll make it possible.